I’m all for the path of least resistance and you’re unlikely to ever see me as an industry ‘disrupter’. Therefore, I’d like to talk about the qualities of being well-liked.
Being well-liked doesn’t mean being a people-pleaser, a pushover or timid.
No, being well-liked goes hand in hand with being respected and this leads on to feelings of goodwill, which are vital to a personal brand and career success. Here are the qualities that are important to me.
Keep giving and ask for nothing
“You don’t need a reason to help people.” – Unknown.
I strive to live by this every day, from the politeness I show to someone asking for directions, to the decision to hold the door open for the stranger behind me. We have countless opportunities to do good things every day while not expecting anything in return.
According to The Go-Giver by Bob Burg and John David Mann, the Law of Value details that “true worth is determined by how much more you give in value than you take in payment”.
The law of receptivity means that the key to effective giving is to stay open to receiving. It’s about staying helpful.
Life is plain hard sometimes, and it’s full of highs and lows. And yet it’s just more comfortable when we’re having fun and sharing laughter with others.
People who recognise their goofy ways are portrayed as genuinely authentic, confident, likeable and possibly feel less stressed.
According to this article, Dr Lee Berk, an associate professor at Loma Linda University in California, “…laughter appears to cause all the reciprocal, or opposite, effects of stress.”
So laughter is even good for your health!
Listen with intent
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” – Stephen R. Covey
And then there’s that other quote about how people love nothing more than to talk about themselves.
Both are often true.
I remember going for a coffee with a friend, and she spent the entire time checking her phone every time it flashed or pinged for her attention. I felt as though she wasn’t valuing our time together or prioritising our (long-overdue) catch-up.
Time is our most precious commodity, so make sure you’re present in the moment, that phone is out of reach, and you’re actively listening to every conversation.
I remember someone once told me that life is full of people who can be classed as radiators or drains.
– Radiators are the type of people whose glass is half-full, they inspire you, they accept life’s challenges with grace because they know there’s a lesson in there somewhere. When they do have something to grumble about, they also recognise they have the opportunity to change their approach and way of thinking.
– Drains are the Negative Noras, the ones whose glass is half-empty. They’re pessimistic and unenthusiastic about life and are happy to tell the world about it.
Sometimes it can feel cathartic to have a ruddy good moan, so the key is not to let it get out of hand. Complaining just brings those around you others down too, so if you find yourself slipping into in the Negative Nora category, my advice is for you to Shut Up and Move On (that’s actually another good read: SUMO by Paul McGee).
Be an inspiration
You may not realise it, but if you act with integrity and authenticity, and are consistent with it, you’re probably inspiring others on a daily basis.
I recently wrote an article for Tips for Assistants called How to Successfully Build a Personal Brand and I was amazed at the response. Administrative professionals around the world took the time to comment on the post and even email me their feedback.
The post proved to be inspirational because the article was full of the energy I have for my career, I willingly shared my knowledge and tips on how readers could enhance their careers through realistic and achievable steps.
Thanks to our unique life experiences, we all bring very different skills to the work table.
Through the people with whom we work, the clients or bosses we support, or the strategic partnerships we create in business, we have the opportunity to observe and teach.
If you’re reading this you’re probably already an expert in your field and have taken years to learn and perfect your craft, therefore, is it not almost a moral obligation to teach others so they too can achieve the same?
Pay it forward
Regardless of our roles, every one comes down to being of service to others.
Many of the modern-day millionaires (Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, Warren Buffett – to name but a few), have generously given money to charity or created foundations to support causes close to their hearts.
You may not be entirely ready to give away your hard-earned pennies, but we all have an ethical responsibility to do good work and pay it forward in other, non-monetary ways.
The easiest way to give to others is to volunteer time (and you can read more about that in this blog). Some companies have close ties with a charity and may even promote the involvement of office staff spending time volunteering during office hours. As a business owner, you have the luxury of choosing a charity close to your heart and perhaps donating some time.
If you enjoyed reading this post, please leave a comment or share on social media. I’ll be eternally grateful. Thank you.